So, I can't get my mind off of adopting. There are many reasons. Maybe it's just the fact that around this time every year we get ourselves pregnant;). Maybe it's that we're getting a 12 passenger van and it wouldn't be right to keep the seats empty.
But really, I have a burning desire. The funny thing about it is, the many reasons why it probably won't happen. We have 7 people in a 3 working bedroom house. It costs a lot of money. Our 5th baby disqualified us from a half dozen international countries. A birth mom would have to be crazy enough to choose a family of 7, and the biggest reason is that my husband doesn't have the same burning desire I do. Josh and I usually think the same. Occasionally we don't. This scenario is tricky for me. I never know whether to pray that Josh changes his mind (that's my favorite idea) or that God would take my desire away. I'm thinking with this one that I'll lay my heart out before God. Wait for Him to examine my motives behind this crazy desire to adopt a child. And wait for Him to do whatever He wants with the desire. Amen.
If He wants it to happen, it will. We certainly weren't in a "reasonable" position to adopt but somehow it happened. You know all that we have been through so I would definitely say to proceed with caution and if hubby isn't going for it then leave it in the Lord's hands. I know I am not the only one to say that adoption is the toughest thing I have ever done.
ReplyDeleteI know that going into it my motives were that I wanted to be the "savior" the "rescuer" the "fixer of mankind's problems". Did God ever give me a wake-up call. Instead He called me to share in His sufferings and to continue walking on a road where we would see very little fruit and feel like all our efforts were wasted. I know that all stories are not like ours but many many are. The lessons God taught us were not ones I was expecting to learn. I don't say this to discourage you but only to caution you to have both eyes wide open. I know those rose colored glasses were firmly planted on my face even though I thought they weren't.
Hi Jamie,
ReplyDeleteI have had a few tussles with God and the "desires of MY heart". You are right to lay your heart open to Him but take it step farther and ask him to lay his heart open to you. I wished I had learned this sooner. It would have saved me a lot of pain. I finally got it and once I prayed to honestly stay under what God designed for me I felt as if my heart was becoming His heart and how then could He not give me the desires of my heart? They were His desires as well. His heart was my heart. To open your heart to the Great one and (here is the often hard part)TOTALLY and willingly submit to his heart desires for you........now THAT is the greatest fare.
Jamie-this really touched my heart. I've brought up adoption/foster-care to Dan on and off for the past few years. I am adopted as well as my two sisters. I have a burden for those going through the system and know that we could give to them and I know how much it would mean to them. Dan didn't really share that same desire as I did. I let it go and would bring it up every once in a while. A few weeks ago Dan came to me and said that he was ready to make that step. He felt that God was putting it on his heart to make a difference in someone's life. I was so happy and I know that God put that desire in his heart! We're now in the process of taking classes to become foster parent's and maybe adopt. If this is God's will for your life then He will make it happen.
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