"December is messy and muddied and weeping," I saw written on Facebook. For sure. Oh my weary heart.
How can it handle so.much.ache? Ache not for my own self but so many around me. It makes it confusing
because I'm kind of...almost, guilty. Why them and not me?
And then every day here seems trivial and yet it isn't. I've been entrusted with 6 little people. Trying to teach my children to love and grow in the Lord's ways, while having growing pains of my own seems impossible. Seemingly yes, when I think of it practically...well, humanly.
Father, would you strip away anything that takes away from the true purpose of why I'm here? Can you give me the desire to know you? My talk about you is cheap unless it is real to me. 
Would you take care of my babes? Sustain them but mainly woo them to yourself. Protect their little spirits. When they see you transforming me, they'll see you. They'll know you're real. They'll know your love.
When I hit a hard patch, when I'm stubborn toward you and in turn unloving to them, would you guard their hearts? I can ask this in confidence, because you've taught us Grace. Therefore, I don't have to be perfect in order for you to do what you promise. You've made it that while I fall short, my children can know your love and grace inspite of me...in fact, they can, in turn, be gracious toward me (their imperfect mom).
Comfort me in these days Lord.
Show me your kindness.
As parents mourn their little ones this Christmas, give us all HOPE in things better to come.
Give special care (I know you do) to the people who are walking in the shadows...
Be close to the brokenhearted.
"I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord, be strong and let your heart take courage, yes wait for the Lord." Psalms
What more could this girl ask for?
Love,
Me.
